Idag leste jeg Minervas Karen Thue sin artikkel om kristne og seksualitet, ikke alle kristne såklart, men mange av de som f.eks mener at det ikke er behov for en «kristen» Trekant. Programmet, altså. Noe av det som slo meg er den store forskjellen mellom (den tradisjonelle) kristendommen og islam i synet på sex. Én ting er de enige om, vel, to ting: Sex er mellom et heterofilt par, og sex er forbeholdt ekteskapet. Men der stopper likheten.
Sex i islam tjener to hensikter, én – den er viktig for reproduksjon. Og to – den seksuelle nytelsen er en forsmak på hva paradiset kan tilby den troende. Sex er en del av himmelen. Muslimer ser ikke på sex – rettelse: muslimer skal ikke se på sex – som noe skittent og forbeholdt det verdslige. Nytelse er bra, seksuell nytelse kan tilogmed være almisse – hvilket er en av islams grunnpillarer.
Nettopp fordi sex er, til de grader, akseptert har det blitt produsert mye litteratur om dette. Tidvis eksplisitt litteratur. Den første erotiske boken jeg leste var, kan du si, en bok i islamsk juss hvorpå en samtidig skriftlærd skrev særdeles pittoresk om coitus. Jeg var 14 år gammel og på jakt etter lesestoff i min tantes bokhylle. Jeg tror ikke meningen var at jeg skulle oppdage den. Men religiøst fordervet jeg ble.
Også min rettssnor, min viktigste bok etter Koranen, Oppvekkelsen av de religiøse disiplinene, på engelsk The Revival of the Religious Sciences eller arabisk Ihya Ulum al-Din, vier plass til sex – i kapittelet om ekteskap. Ghazali er en av de viktigste lærde i islams historie, en av mine personlige helter, og det er artig å tenke på at en så prominent mann, allerede på 1000-tallet, skrev åpenlyst om temaet.
Men det også viktig – særlig når man fort forelsker seg i de klassiske islamske skriftene (noe jeg ofte gjør) – å huske at de klassiske lærde var menn av sin tid. Det vil si, Ghazali er en av mine personlige helter, men hadde han levd i dag hadde jeg dradd ham i skjegget og bedt ham endre på kvinnesynet sitt. Han har ikke et særlig vakkert kvinnesyn. Det er et kvinnesyn ikke bare farget av egen persisk-arabisk bakgrunn, men også av gresk og kristen tenkning. I boken om ekteskap kan man også lese om kvinnens mental deficiencies og mannens natural disposition til å tiltrekkes vakkert ansikt, og kvinnens natural disposition til å krangle og klage – noe man, han er tross alt min helt, må tolerer, sier han. Når det er sagt, The Revival er – i sum – noe av det beste som er skrevet av muslimer, og er du interessert i å se mer på den kan du titte her. Med det gir jeg deg Trekant, på klassisk muslimsk vis:
The tenth: on the etiquette of intimate relations. It is desirable that it should commence in the name of God and with the [following] recitation: Say, “He is God, the One and Only” [Qur’an 112:1]; then he should glorify (takbir) and exalt (tahlil). His name saying, “In the name of God, Most High, Most Great; 0 God, cause it to be a good progeny if you cause it to issue forth from my loins.” The Prophet* said, “If one of you say when he comes upon his wife, ‘0 God, avert the devil from me and avert the devil from what You have granted us.’ Then should a child result, the devil shall not hurt him.”
When you near ejaculation, say to yourself without moving your lips: “Praise be to God Who has created humans out of fluid, and made thereof relatives and in-laws, for thy Lord is omnipotent.”“ One of the men of hadith used to raise his voice in praise to the extent that the members of the household could hear his voice. Then he would turn away from the qiblah, and would not face the qiblah during coitus out of deference for the qiblah. He should also cover himself and his wife with a garment. The Messenger of God used to cover his head and lower his voice, saying to the woman, “Remain quiet.”“ A khabar says, “If one of you should have intimate relations with his wife, you should not denude yourselves completely like two onagers,” that is, two donkeys.
Let him proceed with gentle words and kisses. The Prophet* said, “Let none of you come upon his wife like an animal, and let there be an emissary between them.” He was asked, “What is this emissary, 0 Messenger of God?” He said, “The kiss and [sweet] words.”“ He* also said, “There are three qualities which are considered deficiencies in a man: one, that he should meet someone whose acquaintance he wishes to make but parts from him before learning his name and lineage; second, that he should be treated kindly and reject the kindness’ done unto him; and third, that he should approach his concubine or wife and have sexual contact with her before exchanging tender words and caresses, consequently, he sleeps with her and fulfills his needs before she fulfills hers.»
Intimate relations are undesirable during three nights of the month: the first, the last, and the middle. It is said that the devil is present during copulation on these nights, and it is also said that the devils copulate during these nights. It was related that ‘Ali, Mu’awiyah, and Abu Hurayrah also frowned upon it [during those nights]. Certain ulema recommended intimate relations on Friday and the night before it [Thursday] in fulfillment of one of the two interpretations of the Prophet’s* words, “May God bless the one who purifies and performs the ablution, etc.”“
Once the husband has attained his fulfillment, let him tarry until his wife also attains hers. Her orgasm (inzal) may be delayed, thus exciting her desire; to withdraw quickly is harmful to the woman. Difference in the nature of [their] reaching a climax causes discord whenever the husband ejaculates first. Congruence in attaining a climax is more gratifying to her because the man is not preoccupied with his own pleasure, but rather with hers; for it is likely that the woman might be shy.
It is desirable that he should have intimate relations with her once every four nights; that is more just, for the [maximum] number of wives is four which justifies this span. It is true that intimate relations should be more or less frequent in accordance to her need to remain chaste, for to satisfy her is his duty. If seeking intimate relations [by the woman] is not established, it causes the same difficulty in the same demand and the fulfillment thereof.
He should not approach her during menstruation, immediately after it, or before major ablution (ghusl), for that is forbidden according to the decree of the Book.” It has been said that it would engender leprosy in the offspring. The husband is entitled to enjoy all parts of her body during menstruation but not to have sodomy; intercourse during menstruation is forbidden (haram) because it is harmful, and sodomy will cause permanent harm; for that reason it [sodomy] is more strongly prohibited than intimate relations during menstruation.” The words of the Almighty state, “so go to your tilth as ye will” [Qur’an 2:223]; that is, “any time you please.” He may achieve emission by her hand and can enjoy what is concealed by the loincloth (izar) short of coitus. The woman should cover herself with a loincloth from her groin to [a point just] above the knee during the state of menstruation. This is one of the rules of etiquette. He may partake of meals with the woman during her period of menstruation; he may also sleep beside her, etc. He should not avoid her.